Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Are we still banned from the library?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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