And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
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It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
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Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"