Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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