Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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