haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
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