he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We need to get me chipped asap
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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