Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
