A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
