awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I am available for nakedness
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?