he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.