i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today