Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
