No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
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You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
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Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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