Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
