May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
