I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
