The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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