ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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