Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
