Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
