i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You pole danced in your parka.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
