I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
its not stalking. its research.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
