She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
