I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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