Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
