I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
