On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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