that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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