So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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