So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
