Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
