Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
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we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
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It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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