I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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