I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
