My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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