i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
