Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
