No stitches, just platelets and will power
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
