I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
