oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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