The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
