McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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