If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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