He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
