I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
