Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
