Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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