I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
