Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
