Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
