You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
