I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
