is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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