Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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