32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
