In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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