to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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