We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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