i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
